TRAUMA THAT WON'T GO AWAY
Categories: trauma, Mormon fundamentalism, polygamy
Tags: trauma Section 132 Mormon fundamentalism polygamy
TRAUMA THAT WON’T GO AWAY
Since 1994, when I became an opponent of organized polygamy, I have interviewed at least two dozen ladies who have been victims of Mormon polygamy. Most of these interviews occurred while I was an adviser to Tapestry Against Polygamy.
In the last few months I have had an occasion to converse with a few of these victims and found, I’m sorry to report, that they are still hounded by sordid memories 10 and 15 years after the fact.
In times of war they call this phenomenon “post traumatic disorder syndrome.” The same symptoms are present in some of these women.
It’s not just the loss of money and assets that trouble these unfortunate women but the loss of self esteem, dignity and spirituality.
When a woman submits to a religious belief her commitment is generally more genuine, sincere and complete than that of a man. Both mind and body submits. When the realization eventually hits her, that she is nothing more than chattel, that is, property to be bartered and sexually exploited, the hurt to her ego or psyche is deeply imprinted. Ten and fifteen years after escaping from Mormon servitude the trauma is still there.
Religious bondage is both sadistic and theological. Her conversion dictates that she must submit to the plural marriage revelation (D & C 132) and serve her prophet, husband and priesthood. Her submission cannot be negotiated for the prophet may arbitrarily take her from one man and give her to another.
What happens to the women who are fortunate enough to muster the courage to escape from the shackles of Mormon fundamentalism? What they all do is try and rebuild their lives, especially for their children – if they are fortunate enough to flee with their children. There are cases where Utah courts have ruled that children must remain with the polygamist father.
Some women are so angry that they find it therapeutic to go public with their stories. Others write books. But eventually most just want to put it all behind them and get along with life.
When these women were converted they were highly spirited and filled with the desire to serve the Lord. Some still hope to serve the Lord and have gone back to the LDS Church or become affiliated with other faiths.
The significance of all this is that a good portion of these women reject Mormonism; the reason being they were brainwashed into worshiping the prophet and his corrupt priesthood, not God. They sometimes feel that the LDS Church was complicit in their servitude because it was the Church that canonized Joseph Smith’s plural marriage revelation, and still considers it to be a sacred doctrine. The fact that the Church still retains Section 132 compounds the hurt suffered by some victims of Mormon polygamy.
It is not unusual for victims of polygamy to lose respect for all religions. Christianity promotes Jesus Christ as a champion of the oppressed, the lame and underprivileged. Traditionally it has been the hungry, the abused and the ostracized that looked to Jesus for comfort. But the prayers of some of these abused women apparently bounced off the deaf or nonexistent ears of the deity. If Christ really exists, how could he allow such terrible men go unpunished?
As a deputy sheriff I worked sex crimes for eight years, and the trauma suffered by victims of Mormon polygamy are very much like the trauma suffered by rape victims. In a sense that is what victims of Mormon polygamy are, rape victims. When they submit to sexual intercourse because the doctrine dictates they must, or be damned, it is a form of rape. But it goes further than that; their mind, dignity and self esteem are also raped.
Wow!!! So much for personal accountability.
So women are less accountable then men and incapable of making decisions. Maybe we should pass a law that doesn't allow them to make choices since they seem to be so easily deceived by these horrible men.
Only a special branch of the government overseen by you should be able to decide who they can marry. Then there would be no more hurt, pain or unhappiness in their lives.
That would be so great if we couldn't make any choices? Then we wouldn't have to learn to make wise choices from the experiences we create making unwise choices.
Are you sure this is a new idea? It seems like I have heard this plan somewhere before. Oh yeah, didn't Satan offer a similar plan in the pre-existence?
Yeah, I am going to have to go ahead and stick with the decision I made there and be accountable for my choices. And also encourage others to take responsibility for theirs.
Yep, no blaming someone else if I am unhappy. I'll just go make different choices. John, maybe you should consider doing the same. I know you wouldn't be able to sell as many books but you will definitely have more peace in your life and your families. It probably sounds scary so maybe just try it for one day. Today I will not blame AUB for the unhappiness and pain in my life. You will see how good and empowering it feels and then be able to stretch up to several days in a row. Pretty soon you will be living a whole new life of power and freedom, which is what God has intended for you from the beginning.
Let me know how it goes...
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I do agree that any unsuccessful marriage is traumatic, especially if there is cruelty or battering, and psychological abuse. All these things occur in Monogamy. I sometimes feel that people who have left polygamy do not understand that Monogamous families have the same problems in my experience.
In the 70's I trained to be a crisis counsellor, Drug Abuse counsellor, group facilitator, and
phone counsellor. At the Y I was in an internship
because the Crisis Line I ran with a few others
had no formal program.
People are people and have even the worst sort of problems in common. I think the press has done women who were formerly polygamous a disservice by not building on our similarities, instead of differences. I hope this issue is resolved in a positive way, but have little hope that it will be resolved.
My work is hijacked for the next few years so some Canadian Ladies can hide beneath a feminist veneer without knowing much about it, hindering everyone who might have thought of a reasonable plan for helping them with their real needs.
If there is a need to leave, then we need to provide safe conduct for the mothers and children to leave. They need restraining orders and help getting their children if these are denied them. Just like women in California.
I think the FLDS have every right to practice their religion protected by Charter and Constitution.
If I thought a blanket solution would help, I'd be for it. It will only make things worse, and if this generation is persecuted the next will be more fanatical and have more babies. I will never make books in print. So hugs for the PTSD willies. They have no religion.
There is something in human psyche-biology that compensates for a loss of population by struggling to increase numbers. It has been a very adaptive mind virus for a hundred thousand years or more.
I am not angry at any individual. I wish Linda Sillitoe were alive. I wish an elderly journalist friend was still alive so I could call him for wisdom beyond my experience. Should I turn my back on all of this and will it be covered if I do.
My freedom of religion cannot exist without protection by the Constitution. I do love my religion. 30% of Arizona marriages are now Jeddi. The first midwife of Short Creek was RLDS--She said she was Josephite. She was recruited as a nurse-midwife when there were few hospital trained nurses. She helped Emma while her husband bought cattle and outfits for saints travelling West. I hope this will not drag on the rest of my short life. Am I still an American without freedom of Religion? Is this a free country or just real estate.
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