Automobile Language

                You have heard of “body language,” well, have you noticed that when an automobile becomes an extension of the body you can observe “automobile language?”  Put another way, the way an automobile is driven and treated tells you something about the driver.

                My wife has a wholesale floral business.  She receives boxes of flowers four days a week on trucks from Florida, Texas and California.   I usually meet the trucks from California on the “on ramp” of North bound I-15 at the Point of the Mountain in Draper, Utah, probably the busiest on-and-off ramp in Salt Lake County.

                There is a pull-over area on the on-ramp where the truck from California unloads our boxes of cut flowers.  It is convenient for both the trucker and me as we coordinate the meeting by cell phone.  I usually arrive at the on ramp 10 to 15 minutes before the truck arrives.  I bring a book to read while I wait, but am often distracted by the perpetual flow of cars and trucks racing up the ramp.  There are several gravel pits and cement works at the Point of the Mountain, which guarantees a continuous flow of gravel and cement trucks as well as cars from the Draper suburbs.  To witness all the activity around the Point of the Mountain makes one wonder how much busier it would be if it were not for the economic recession. 

                Most of the cars and trucks maneuver the ramp in an orderly manner and at reasonably speeds.  But it seems one out of seven displays their anger, frustration, aggression or lack of patience by the way they drive.

                Take the medium sized 4 cylinder Honda type.  The driver floor-boards the accelerator until the engine winds up so tight that it sounds like a piston may come crashing through the hood.   The driver must be oblivious to the amount of gas that is expended and wasted on this ludicrous display of wasted energy.  You can tell by the year and smallness of the car that the driver does not have the money to waste fuel, but there must be some other psychological reward that justifies the wasted expenditure.  This kind of driver, usually a young male with the bill of his cap turned backwards, jumps from lane to lane, usually without signaling, attempting to get ahead of the car in front of him.  We don’t know his destination or the apparent expediency of his mission, other than to get ahead of the guy in front.   This is also the driver-type that races from one red light to another, in a hurry to get nowhere.

                Have you noticed as I have how personalities change when one gets behind the wheel?  It is as if one assumes a sense of anonymity, his mind saying, “you will never ever see  those drivers around you again, they don’t know who you are, so why not let loose with a little pent-up aggression or contempt.”  This feeling of anonymity is similar to the anonymity one feels while part of a mob. 

                I know a fellow, and his daughters, who are the nicest, accommodating people you will ever meet in person, but put them behind the wheel of car and its like Jekyll and Hyde.  We live on a quarter mile long lane.  Part of it is washboardy with a few shallow chuckholes.  These people don’t slow down and just charge through the rough area 30 MPH – and they wonder why they have so many mechanical problems.   If someone is walking on the lane it doesn’t even occur to them that they should slow down.  Now I’m not singling this particular family out, there are many other, mostly young people, that drive just a recklessly. 

                Another type driver that is irritating is the guy with the four wheel-drive pickup jacked up so he’s looking down at passenger cars.  He uses his 4 X 4 truck to intimidate.  Like the other dummy in the 4 cylinder Honda, he floorboards his pickup going up the ramp, the engine screaming, if it’s a diesel, black smoke pours out the exhaust.  This guy comes roaring up behind the car in front of him only to back off at the last minute.  And then he tailgates the poor guy as if to say, “I ought to run right over you, and maybe I will if you don’t get out of my way.”  This is also the guy on the freeway that when he passes, guns it, spitting out more black smoke, letting you know that your very presence has irritated the hell out of him.

                I often wonder what these reckless, aggressive driver-types do for a living and if they are married and have children.  I wonder if they are church goers, democrats, republicans, or if they even care about what is happening politically in their country.  I wonder if they know the difference between the Revolutionary and Civil War, or who America fought in WWII.  From the way they drive I suspect they are selfish, narcissistic types and would take advantage of someone if given the chance.  Would I trust them with my daughter?  No!  Would I trust them with my personal property? No!   They are all about image and impoverished substance.  

                Now if you are a liberal pacifist you might think, “John you are making judgments based on flimsy evidence.”  Maybe you are right. I’ve been wrong before.  Maybe Ron Paul is right about not irritating Iran and instead of talking about stopping their nuclear projects, sit down with them over a cup of coffee and negotiate.  Maybe Ron Paul is right that our predator drones (an effective defensive weapon against terrorists) creates more problems than it solves because it makes the Muslims mad and they want to retaliate.  God forgive that we should make Muslims mad.  But then maybe we’ve got more to fear from men from Mars than Islamic aggression.